Your kids don't want a perfect mom. By Alyson Premo

Your kids don't want a perfect mom.

They want a mom who loves herself enough to know that drinking isn't the way to get through life.

What is a perfect mom anyway?

The mom who has a clean house, Pinterest worthy crafts, matching holiday outfits, and homemade nutritious meals on the table every night.

No, no, no. I know that society has conditioned us to believe that to be a "perfect mom," you must do all of the above. That's nonsense. First of all, there is no such thing as perfect because we all see life through a different lens, so what one person sees as perfect isn't the same as someone else's definition.

Second, do you think your kids care about all that? Absolutely not. They want a mom who isn't stressed out every single second of the day. A mom that is there for them when they need a listening ear. A mom who can heal herself so that she doesn't pass her own issues onto them. A mom who sets an example of how to get through hard times. That includes not drinking a toxic substance.

I hear time and time again from mothers who have either been raised in a home where alcohol was front and center or picked up the same alcohol habit from their parents. Is that what you want for your kids? I know that you don't, or you wouldn't be here. I know it can be hard to get out of the drinking cycle, but if it were easy, we wouldn't be in the crisis we're in now with women, especially mothers drinking more than ever.

Alcohol isn't the way to get through life or motherhood. It actually hinders us from being the best mother and person we could be. We only get one life, so why are we wasting it? Where do you want to be a year or 5 years from now? Still drinking and not experiencing the things that could light you up from within? I sure hope not.

It's time to nip this in the bud so that you're not looking back in 5 years with regret. One way to do that is by joining the 60 Day Alcohol-Free Challenge starting January 1st! Early bird pricing is available until 12/18, so get in before that price goes up. The first (5) who register receive a book and journal to either get a head start on this journey or be prepared for January 1st. Only 40 available!

The greatest gift you can give your kids is... By Alyson Premo

…a mother who doesn’t drink.

Seriously think about this. Take a moment to reflect on why this is true. Sure, they may want an iPhone or Legos or whatever else they're into. I know for my 10-year-old son, these are on his list and Xbox games, but this post isn't about me.

We can get our kids all the material things in the world, and they eventually grow out of it or play with it for a month, then it sits in the back of the closet. I've spent hundreds of dollars on gifts that my son only played with once. And yet, I never learn when the holiday season rolls around again and again. Ugh.

There is one gift though that doesn't cost a thing, and I can GUARANTEE that your kids will think it's the best gift ever, not just for the holidays, but all year round. You not drinking is the greatest gift you can ever give them.

Imagine being present for the moments with our kids that we can't get back.

Imagine your kids being proud of you for not drinking. Because newsflash they are. My son makes a big deal out of my milestones, and it really is the cutest thing ever.

Imagine showing them that it's ok to go against the grain and to screw peer pressure. Crazy how we still get pressured to drink even into adulthood, but you can show them that you don't have to follow the crowd no matter what.

Our kid's notice and are more observant than we give them credit for. You may not think they notice when we're drunk, but they do.

Is that the example you want to set for them?

Do you want them to think that you drink because of them? Because let's be honest, that's the narrative that we hear all the time. I can't take my kids, so I'm just going to have a drink. Imagine being a kid and hearing that. Yikes.

Give your kids the greatest gift you can this holiday season by not drinking. Are you realizing that you can't do this alone and need extra support and accountability to help you at the beginning stages? Then the 30 Day 1:1 Program is for you! Only ONE spot left for December. Message me to see if it would be a good fit for you.

Hey You. Keep Going. By Alyson Premo.

Hey you, keep going.

I've seen so many recent posts of people struggling or who have lost their battle with addiction.

First off, I want you to know that there is nothing wrong with you. We are in the middle of a fucking crazy year. We are trying to do it all between distance learning, working, keeping the kids alive, and maintaining a somewhat orderly household. Of course, our brain would go back to what we thought at the time was comfort and a way of coping, but as we know, our brain likes to play tricks on us.

That is not the way to get through motherhood, life, or the end of 2020. I know you're stressed, overwhelmed, and wanting a break, but alcohol isn't going to help you in the long run. Self-medicating with alcohol only INCREASES your depression and anxiety. The more you start relying on this pattern, the more chances you have to become dependent on alcohol.

If you started out with your occasional glass of wine or two during the week, but during 2020 have noticed how much and how often you drink has increased, then that's your first red flag to try taking a break. Take a break for 30 days and see how you do. If you're finding it harder than you thought, I would look at the reasons why you were drinking and find a therapist, coach, or a community of women who understand what you're going through.

The most important thing I want you to take from this post today, though, is YOU ARE NOT ALONE. I know you may feel like you are, but you aren't. The hard days will pass, and you will be so much stronger because of it. Cry, scream, eat all the sweets, but please don't give in to that voice that wants to sabotage you. You know what happens when you do, and it never ends well.

I want to know, who's going to not drink with me today?

Let's show the other mothers out there they aren't alone, and we are only a message away if need be.

If you're looking for extra guidance on this journey and a mindset shift, then reach out to me @sobermomcoach, and we can see if the 30 Day 1:1 Program would be a good fit for you. Only TWO spots available this month!

Not drinking alcohol doesn't make you weak. It makes you POWERFUL. By Alyson Premo.

Not drinking alcohol doesn't make you weak.

It makes you POWERFUL.

Yesterday in the 60 Day Alcohol-Free Challenge a mother was expressing her fears around an alcohol-free life. Something that we dig into in the first days of the challenge, and I'll tell you why in a second.

She feared that she would be seen as weak because she doesn't have the power or capability to "control" her alcohol intake. Hold up. This is where our brain plays tricks on us, or the way society perceives those who don't drink leads us to believe there is something wrong with us. But in my response back to her, I asked her to do a reframe on her weak statement. I advised her to think of how POWERFUL she is because she doesn't need alcohol to get through life. Not many can say that. And then it clicked for her.

So many times, we can't see these things on our own, and we need others for those gentle nudges to help us. This is why I'm so passionate about 1:1 coaching and the Alcohol-Free Challenges.

Oh, and those fears of sobriety are just ways to hold ourselves back from actually following through. You're not going to die from not drinking alcohol. In fact, it's the exact opposite; you're setting yourself up to be more healthy and decrease your chances of dying from an alcohol-related illness. Don't listen to those fears. All they want to do is sabotage your growth.

With that said, I (@sobermomcoach) am only accepting TWO new 1:1 clients for December. If you're looking for more personalized support and for someone to hold you accountable to get the consistency and momentum needed to jumpstart your alcohol-free journey, then this is the perfect opportunity for just that.

This month ONLY, I'm also giving you FREE access to the 60 Day Alcohol-Free Challenge that started on December 1st. I rarely do this, but I've been called to do so, so this is my gift to you this holiday season. First come, first serve, and once the two spots are gone, they're gone until January!

How great would it be to be present with your kids this holiday season? I already know how it feels, and now I want you to experience it for yourself.

Message me (@sobermomcoach) to see if this program would be a good fit for you!

Drinking alcohol is an easy way to cope until it isn't anymore. By Alyson Premo.

Drinking alcohol is an easy way to cope until it isn't anymore.

Yes, when we want a quick fix, alcohol seems to be the answer because it’s easy. We can just grab a glass of wine or a beer from the fridge, and from the moment it hits our lips, we already feel the sense of relief without it even in our bloodstream yet.

Have to make dinner with screaming children in the background? Grab a glass of wine.

Been with the kids all day and helping them with distance learning? Grab a glass of wine.

I know that we've all done this at one point or another and fed into the lies that Big Alcohol wants to sell us on, but turning to alcohol to cope just because it's the easy way doesn't make it the right way.

It’s easy because you let it become a habit, so of course, your brain is going to automatically go to wine to relieve whatever you’re trying to escape from. But the deeper you get into that cycle, the harder it is to get out, just like any other habit. When you’ve had an ingrained habit for a decade or more, of course, doing something else isn’t going to be the easy way out.

But the easy way out will ultimately lead you to regret, mom guilt, and not feeling good physically or emotionally or, like in my case, detox. That was not easy at all. I would have ten more babies rather than experience the withdrawals in detox again. I know that journaling, going for a walk, reaching out to a support community, meditating, and other healthy coping mechanisms aren't glitzy and don't provide you that instant sense of relief like alcohol does, but isn't that the point? We don't grow by taking the easy way out, and we certainly don't feel better about ourselves.

Is it time to stop taking the easy way out? The 60 Day Alcohol-Free Challenge starts TOMORROW!! This is the last challenge at the current price point, so if you've been on the fence, I would highly prioritize this on your list of investments. Yes, I know it's an investment, but it's one that can turn your whole life around for the better. And if you can spend money on alcohol, you can certainly spend money on your healing— message me with any questions.

Mommy doesn't need wine. Mommy just. needs a break. By Alyson Premo.

Mommy doesn't need wine.

Mommy just needs a break.

Back in my drinking days, I thought wine was the answer to my stress, to my overwhelm, to my anxiety, and to being the "perfect" mom.

Boy, was I wrong. The answer was I needed a break! I couldn't keep doing it all on my own, and I was scared to ask for help. I didn't want anyone to think I was weak and couldn't handle the "situation" I put myself in. That situation being a single mom, and as I'm typing this, I realize I wasn't the only one who put me in that situation. It takes two to make a baby, right? Anyway, I digress, and that topic is for another day.

I was bombarded by advertising, mommy wine memes, and society telling me just to have a glass of wine to take the edge off the stresses of everyday life. I wish I hadn't followed the crowd, and now I truly believe that when you're following the crowd, you lose yourself, which when I got sober, I started to look at a lot of things differently. I started to question other things that are marketed in our society as "fun" and the way to "relax". Because the day after my drinking, my anxiety would be through the roof. That was neither fun nor relaxing.

What we really need in motherhood isn't a toxic substance that causes more anxiety, sadness, and a general sense of feeling like garbage. We need a break! We need time to ourselves to rejuvenate. We need time just to be, and that just being includes not tending to everyone else's needs but our own. We put our own needs on the back burner, and that ultimately comes to bite us in the ass.

Don't fall for the mommy needs wine trap because it'll keep you stuck in a cycle that is only hindering you and making you worse off in the long run. Take a break without the wine, and I promise you that you'll feel much better about yourself physically and mentally. Try it and let me know how it goes.

If you're having trouble getting out of the mommy wine culture, then join me and 39 other mothers who are sick of it too for the 60 Day Alcohol-Free Challenge! This is the absolute LAST DAY to join!

Do you know what never gets old? Waking up without a hangover. By Alyson Premo.

As we embark on the holiday season and what is usually the biggest drinking night of the year. I say usually because this year will be a little different for some because you know 2020, which is a good thing. No pressure to drink in a social situation! We have to look for the positives when we can, right?

Anyway, I always think back upon the Thanksgiving mornings, waking up so nauseous, wondering what the heck happened the night before (who did I text? did I embarrass myself again?) Not anymore, though. Now I'm waking up ready for some coffee and couch hangs with the little man to watch the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade.

We have new traditions now, which brings me to another point, start new traditions with your family. If you are always used to drinking on Thanksgiving, think of ways to ditch the alcohol and still have fun.

All I know is I'm so thankful that I haven't had a hangover in over 4 years.

I'll be dishing out a few tips tomorrow to help you stay sober for turkey day. Stay tuned!

In the meantime, have you been on the fence about joining the 60 Day Alcohol-Free Challenge starting on Tuesday? Read on if so.

I had a 1:1 call that is included in the challenge with one of the participants yesterday, and that call reaffirms why I do what I do day in and day out. The only other person she's told about her struggle was her husband, and she felt such a sense of relief to let it out, cry, and be able to see that there's nothing wrong with her. Absolutely nothing at all. She just started to rely on a chemically addictive substance. She left that call with a renewed sense of motivation and HOPE. She even posted in the group about it later that night.

Now she is surrounded by a group of mothers who are on the same path as her, ready to cheer her on. That's why these challenges are so effective. They help you learn the tools and strategies to sustain and thrive in

This will be the last round of the challenge at the current price, so get in before it goes up in 2021!

6 Tips For A Sober Thanksgiving. By Alyson Premo.

Happy Thanksgiving Mamas! Here are a few tips to help you on this holiday. 🦇❤️

1. Make a mocktail or enjoy a nonalcoholic beer. NA beer may be a trigger for some, but it helps them beat the craving without them having to feel excluded or asking a lot of questions from family members or friends. Tons of recipes for mocktails on Pinterest too!
2. Have an exit plan. If you're going to someone else's house for Thanksgiving, make sure to have a plan in place so that if you start seeing your will run out, then you can simply get up and go for a walk or make an Irish goodbye. Most importantly, park your car where you won't get boxed in.
3. Eat all the food you want! Use all those extra calories that you aren't drinking for all the mashed potatoes, green bean casserole, and pie!
4. Reach out to a friend or a sober community like this one.
5. Move your body. Go for a walk, dance, do some yoga, stretching. When we move, our body dopamine gets released. Dopamine is the same feel-good chemical that gets released when drinking or using, so moving your body is the best way to get those same feel-good chemicals without ingesting a toxin.
6. Remember your WHY. When times get tough, it's important to remember why we're embarking on this alcohol-free journey to begin with. For your health? For your kids?

I hope everyone has a safe and sober holiday!

A reminder that the 60 Day Alcohol-Free Challenge is OPEN for registration! We start in a few days. Message me (@sobermomcoach) with any questions you may have.

Alcohol won't always be on your mind. By Alyson Premo.

A reminder that alcohol won't always be on your mind.

At the beginning of going alcohol-free, it seems that all we think about is alcohol, or we're more prone to see liquor stores, advertisements with alcohol, and in general, notice how heavily marketed alcohol is.

This just shows you that even if you try to take a break and alcohol is constantly on your mind, then it was playing a bigger role in your life than you maybe even realized. That is ok. No need to beat yourself up for feeling "stupid" or how you could've let it go this far.

It's like any other habit. We start with 1 glass of wine, and then maybe life gets a little harder, especially during these crazy times of 2020, and now that one glass has turned into multiple glasses or a bottle, or you've now moved to hard alcohol. This is where you tell yourself, "ok, it's time to take a break".

So you take a break, and you're only on your second day, and your mind is consumed with when can you have your next glass of wine to relax and unwind. Those damn thoughts are creeping in at dinner time, in the middle of the day on Saturday, during Football Sunday, and you feel that you just can't escape them.

I get it. Those all-consuming thoughts of alcohol were on my mind every day. Even in detox, I tried to convince myself that I could leave and moderate so that I didn't have to feel the physical and emotional withdrawal. Ugh.

But I want you to know those thoughts of wine won't always be there. They go away with time.

Probably not the answer you want to hear, right? We like our quick fixes, but just like any other habit, there is none. There will come a day where your mind doesn't go to alcohol when you're anxious, sad, stressed, or even happy. I promise. Don't give up before you get there though.

Are you stuck in the drinking cycle? Read this! By Alyson Premo.

Stop staying stuck and putting your life on hold for the next day, next weekend, next month, or next year.

The mothers who join the Alcohol-Free Challenges or 1:1 programs are just DONE.

They are so sick and tired of the back and forth of the damn drinking cycle.

They are tired of letting themselves and others around them down.

They are tired of feeling physically and mentally, like garbage.

They are tired of the nagging anxiety from drinking the night before.

They just want to get off the merry go round.

They want to be free of the...

frustration,

feeling like a failure,

feeling like a bad mom,

feeling like they are just never good enough no matter what they do,

of a substance that is keeping them chained in an endless cycle.

Stop staying stuck and putting your life on hold for the next day, next weekend, next month, or next year. Just stop. Stop with the excuses. Enough is enough.

You can choose to end this year just like you started it by drinking, or you can turn it around. You can end this year being proud of yourself for actually following through with your commitment not to drink. And hey, even if you have a slip-up, it's OK. The main thing is you're TRYING, and that says more about you than the others who are just continually waiting for the "right time ."

Maybe you're thinking to yourself that I'm being a little harsh right now, but I see it day in and day out, and I, too, gave myself all the excuses in the world. But it didn't get me anywhere. The only place it did lead me to was to a deeper hole that was harder to get of. The longer you keep waiting for the "right time," the more you're building an actual dependence to alcohol.

The 60 Day Alcohol-Free Challenge starts December 1st. What better way to end this year with 39 other mothers who want to see you succeed. Being surrounded by others who are on the same path as you is how you're going to get out of this endless cycle and be free from the feelings of guilt, shame, and embarrassment.

Click here to register and reserve your spot before it's gone, and then you're going through the holidays in an alcohol-induced haze. By the way, our kids only stay young for so long, don't keep missing out on these special moments and look back with regret. I hope you'll join us!