“Hi! My name is Alia Cass. I am 45 years old and a wife and mother of 7-year-old twin girls. I have been a Hair Stylist for 25 years and in karate my whole life and I teach kids. I am a 2nd degree Black Belt in Kenpo Karate. Today I am 367 days sober.

My story with alcohol began before I was a drinker myself. Both my parents were alcoholics. My dad has been in recovery for almost 30 years and my mom took her own life due to alcoholism and depression 17 years ago. I also have issues with anxiety and depression and definitely suffered some childhood trauma to help contribute to my alcoholic self today.

At age 14, the first time I drank, I woke up in an ambulance for treatment for alcohol poisoning. Looking back, it was a major clue as to what kind of drinker I would later become. For 3 short months I did not drink but picked up again and continued for 30 more years. I married an alcoholic who also came from alcoholic parents. We have been together for 26 years this month and our relationship has been far from perfect but we do have beautiful girls and truly love each other. We are a work in progress. He is now working on his own journey at 4 months sober today. We have established that there is no place for alcohol in our lives for the sake our little family and for ourselves.

I never thought of myself as an alcoholic. My drinking was so consistent for so many years it was just part of my life. It fluctuated, one drink one night, one bottle the next. It was normal to me, to us. Until it wasn't. I stopped being able to have just one drink. There were days I would drink all day. I started sneaking shots of whiskey here and there so no one would notice how much I really drank. I would rationalize it by thinking it was helping my anxiety. It is crazy how we can make sense out of nonsense.

In March of 2018, I went to a family event, got wasted and embarrassed myself. It was the first time I really thought I had a problem. I had my husband drive me to the ER because I was having withdrawals and I did not want to pick up again. I wanted help. I got enrolled in the Kaiser Substance Abuse program and got a therapist. I did not drink for 3 and a half months and then we went on vacation. What happened? I don't know! I blacked out. Too much tequila in Mexico. I was so disappointed in myself but I continued drinking for the duration of summer and it wasn't pretty. I decided again I needed to stop and did great for 2 months, then I had a stressful, busy day and convinced myself I deserved a drink. The next 2 weeks after that was back to square one. It was awful. My husband and I had mirrored the homes we grew up in. We had become our parents. Horrible to each other and to ourselves. It was then I decided, NO more. That was November 3rd, 2018.

I do not attend AA or meetings of any kind. As I mentioned before, I am enrolled at Kaiser in their Substance Abuse program and found a therapist I love. I see her once every other month on average. I have read books on alcoholism, depression and addiction. Every bit of information helps. My children and my family are my priority. I surround myself with people I love and who love me. I keep busy at my kid's school and every day try to be the best person I can be. For me, I had to take a step back and realize that alcohol has never played any kind of positive role in my life. Ever. I have had a tough marital year this year and admittedly for a moment thought to drink. It passed quickly as I knew from a lifetime of mistakes it wasn't the answer. I am proud of myself everyday and when I look into my children's eyes, I know it is an easy choice to not drink. The best choice. So now my goal is to live my best life for me and for them.

A common thing I see and hear is people feel so alone and isolated during their time of recovery. The truth is you are not. Too many people are suffering with their own demons and we find ways to cope by not addressing them at all. I have a clear head now and feel more at peace with my life than ever. My hope is that by sharing my story like so many others have, it will help at least one person because someone out there has definitely helped me.

I am so thankful for today and look forward to every new day.”

Alia Cass