It's NOT "New Year, New Me". It's New Year... By Alyson Premo

It's NOT "New Year, New Me"

It's New Year...

Still learning

Still growing

Still breaking away from things that no longer serve me

Still trying to love myself - flaws and all

Still trying to be the best version of ME

For some reason, the "New Year, New Me" has struck a nerve with me this year. You're still YOU. It's assuming that you're broken and need to be fixed. No one is broken. We are all just trying to do this thing called life with the cards we've been dealt.

We all have different experiences, perspectives, and a past that has shaped us into who we are today, leading us to use alcohol as a coping tool. Just because we turned to alcohol doesn't mean that we were broken.

It means...

👉🏻we were in pain and didn't know how to handle our emotions without numbing out.

👉🏻we didn't know any healthy outlets or were so deep into our habit that it was extremely difficult to get out on our own.

👉🏻we were scared of being perceived as weak for reaching out for help.

👉🏻we did what we knew at the time just to get from one day to the next to SURVIVE.

Every year is a year to continue on this journey of discovering what people, things, and habits no longer serve me. A year to keep learning the lessons and get out of the "why me" trap into the "what can I learn from this to take with me into the future" mentality.

Every year gives me an opportunity to grow into who I really am and what I want to get out of this one life I was given, and ultimately the legacy I want to leave behind. I didn't want my legacy to be known as the girl who drowned her pain in alcohol because she was too scared to deal with her sh*t to reach her true potential. I didn't want to be lying on my deathbed with the what if's. And I'm so damn happy that I didn't allow alcohol to control me for any longer than it did.

It's not a new me on January 1, 2021; it's a deeper knowing of who I truly and unapologetically am.

Are you ready to get rid of the hold alcohol has over you so you, too, can reach your true potential? Join the 60 Day Alcohol-Free Challenge starting on January 1st! There's no better time than the start of a new year to rid yourself of a habit that is no longer serving you. I hope you’ll join us!

Alcohol is NOT a reward. By Alyson Premo.

I hear time and time again from people on social media, participants in the 60 Day Alcohol-Free Challenge, and even some 1:1 coaching clients who don't necessarily want to quit alcohol for good but just have it around for celebratory reasons and special occasions. My first question is always why?

Why do you want it back in your life even occasionally?

Why does alcohol still have that hold on you? Fear of missing out? Scared of the forever word? (I'm not a fan of the forever word, so drop that if that's what is catching you up!)

What makes you think this time will be different from all the other times you tried before to just "treat" yourself?

Whatever the reason is. There are these limiting stories or beliefs that you are telling yourself that you need to have alcohol as your security blanket still. You don't want to let it go because you still see it as a reward.

How is having a hangover where you can barely even make it out of bed a reward?

How is the crippling anxiety the next day a reward?

How is wondering what you said or did the night before a reward?

How are your kids saying you're acting "funny" a reward?

How is ingesting ethanol a reward?

It's not, and you know it's not, but you're still holding onto that glimmer of hope that maybe you can just have one here or there. The best way to celebrate isn't by drinking; it's by NOT drinking.

These are some of the reframes and thought patterns we discuss in the 60 Day Alcohol-Free Challenge. If these thoughts sound like I was reading your mind, then it's time for you to join us for the challenge starting January 1st!

Removing alcohol from your life isn't about deprivation. It's about looking at alcohol differently and what we gain from not drinking, NOT what we lose. Because let's be real, we don't miss out on anything. No, that thinking doesn't happen overnight, but when you finally realize what alcohol really is, that is absolute freedom. I want that for all of you who are struggling with this back and forth, love/hate relationship with alcohol to feel too.

Message me (@sobermomcoach) directly for the link to register. Let's bring in 2021 alcohol-free TOGETHER!

Merry Sober Christmas Eve. By Alyson Premo.

I couldn't be any more grateful than to celebrate 1500 DAYS SOBER on Christmas Eve with all of you.

The greatest gift I've ever given my son is a sober mother.

A mother who listens.

A mother who isn't constantly numbing out and running away from her problems.

A mother who has made mistakes but still shows up every day.

A mother who is on a continuous path of learning and growth.

A mother who started loving herself - flaws and all.

Most importantly, I wanted to say THANK YOU to those in the Sober Mom Tribe community and those who have bought the Alcohol-Free Challenge, 1:1 coaching, or any of my other programs. As a single mom, it means the world to me to be able to provide for my son and to be able to give back to my local community as well.

This year I was able to donate to local organizations in my town, and this is what life is truly about. Times are tough, and there are more people in need than ever before, so I feel extremely grateful that I can help somehow, and that is because of all of you. Thank you for continuing to grow with me on this journey of sobriety, life, and business.

I wish all of you a safe and alcohol-free holiday season!

Xo,

Alyson Premo (@alysonpremo)

P.S. I will be taking a break from this page for a bit to spend time with my son and celebrate the holiday with family. If you're in need of immediate support, please contact the SAMHSA Hotline at 1-800-662-4357. The holidays can be tough, but you are not alone. YOU ARE NEVER ALONE.

P.P.S. Registration is still open for the Confidently Be Alcohol-Free - 60 Day Alcohol-Free Challenge starting January 1st. Link in our bio for more details and to reserve your spot. There is no need to ring in 2021, feeling like garbage emotionally physically. Give yourself this gift to show yourself that you're deserving of a life without alcohol because YOU ARE. Special bonus gift is available until TONIGHT at 11:59 pm EST. I hope you'll join us!

My final sip of alcohol was in a detox parking lot. I share my story, so yours isn't too. By Alyson Premo.

Do you know why I created Sober Mom Tribe and why I share my personal struggle with alcohol? Because I don't want you to get to the low point that I did. I truly believe you don't need a rock bottom to change your relationship with alcohol, and I'm here to prevent someone from hopefully quitting before something "bad" happens.

Society has conditioned us to believe that we need to lose our job, get a DUI, be drinking morning until night, or have some other debilitating consequence from our drinking before we stop. Do I believe it's harder to stop without a lower rock bottom? Yes, because there's nothing "forcing" us to stop, but that doesn't mean you can't.

What inspired this post was a story in the Reddit r/stopdrinking forum the other day. By the way, that forum is a great resource so check it out!

A mother who...

Left it too long to admit she had a problem.

Kept it a secret from her family and friends.

Waited too long to get the medical assistance that could have saved her old liver.

Wanted to keep drinking and kept getting deeper and deeper into her addiction.

It took her life being in serious jeopardy to get her to stop. The point of this post is to start questioning your relationship with alcohol and trying ways to get out of the habit loop before you get to the point where it becomes harder, and you truly are dependent on alcohol to survive.

People always ask me, "how will I know if I have a problem with alcohol?" Trust your gut and the fact that you're questioning it. People who don't struggle with alcohol aren't feeling that gentle nudge inside themselves that something doesn't feel right. If that's you, then take a break from alcohol for a bit, listen to podcasts, read quit lit, and most importantly, surround yourself with others who will support you not drinking.

The 60 Day Alcohol-Free Challenge is a great way to assess your relationship with alcohol and gain tools and resources to have in your back pocket, and have a group of mothers who get it. Link in bio to enroll in our challenge that starts January 1st!

The triggers never go away. You just learn how to handle them without alcohol.

We're about to get a big snowstorm here in Connecticut, and in the first year of my sobriety, that would've been a huge trigger for me. I used to associate big snowstorms with stocking up on all the alcohol I could get.

Wine, beer, vodka. Anything. One because what else was I going to do in the middle of a snowstorm. Two, I didn't want to run out. I was fearful that if I didn't have enough alcohol that I would literally go through withdrawals. This happened at the end of my drinking "career", but still fearful of withdrawal but thinking I really didn't have a problem or I could stop. Looking back, I'm like, what in the heck was I thinking.

But the thing is, my rational brain wasn't thinking. It was my addictive brain that was doing the thinking. "I didn't have a problem. I had it all under control." Major eye roll there. When we're deep into our addictive behaviors, we can't see how bad it really is.

When we look back on our drinking, though, it's loud and clear when things escalated because we're finally out of that habit loop, and we've built new neural pathways to see that alcohol wasn't the way to cope with a snowstorm or anything in life.

We will still have the same triggers (snowstorm, holiday, stressful day); those things never go away. We just know how to handle those triggers differently. And in order to get to the point of handling them differently, you have to keep CHOOSING not to drink one day at a time. And you have to find healthy replacements and coping mechanisms. It doesn't happen overnight, so keep going and give this alcohol-free life a chance.

Need help with the consistency that is needed to get out of the drinking cycle? TODAY ONLY! When you sign up for my (@sobermomcoach) signature 60 Day Alcohol-Free Challenge starting January 1st, you will receive a FREE tee or tank from the Sober Mom Tribe Merchandise Store. You receive EARLY BIRD PRICING, AND A FREE TANK OR TEE doesn't get much better than that. Oh, wait, it does. Your investment in this challenge will make you a better person and mother. You will feel better physically, mentally, and spiritually. What gets better than that? Absolutely nothing.

Stop comparing and start questioning. By Alyson Premo.

Instead of asking yourself whether your drinking isn't as bad as other people's or you aren't drinking in the morning, you should be asking yourself whether alcohol is having a negative impact on your life.

Instead of comparing how much you drink to someone else or the fact that you don't drink in the morning, you should be asking yourself whether alcohol is having a negative impact on your life.

There are many types of problem drinkers, and comparing yourself to others doesn't do you any favors. When asking how much alcohol is too much, the most important consideration should be how alcohol affects your life.

I know most of us have been conditioned to believe that unless you drink out of a brown paper bag or start drinking as soon as you wake up in the morning, you don't have a problem with alcohol. The thing is, we shouldn't be comparing our journey to anyone else's or what society perceives as having an alcohol problem. If you feel that alcohol is having a negative impact on your life, then that's all the justification you need to either try an alcohol-free challenge, take a break for a bit, or remove it completely from your life.

If hangovers are affecting your life and ability to parent, then it may be time to take a break.

If the anxiety the next day is crippling, then it may be time to take a break.

If your kids are telling you that your favorite drink is wine, then it may be time to take a break.

If you feel that you're just going through the daily motions of life in order to get to your glass of wine, then it may be time to take a break.

You do not have to have this big crisis for you to take a break or stop altogether. Stop thinking that you need to get a DUI, lose your job, be in financial ruin, on the verge of a divorce or breakup, or losing your kids to have a problem. There are plenty of women in the world right now who have a negative relationship with alcohol, but they are comparing it to someone who's life has been turned upside down because of their drinking.

If you feel a nudge inside of you that alcohol is taking more than it's giving, then it's time to trust yourself and take a break.

One way to do that is by joining the 60 Day Alcohol-Free Challenge starting January 1st! Early bird pricing is available until 12/18, so get in before that price goes up. The first (5) who register receive a book and journal to either get a head start on this journey or be prepared for when January 1st rolls around. Only 40 available!

Have you been a toe dipper on your alcohol-free journey? By Alyson Premo.

Maybe you're testing the waters; you go a week without drinking but then end up back in the same cycle.

Maybe you complete a 30 Day Alcohol-Free Challenge, but after you celebrate by opening your favorite bottle of red, and then go straight back to the same old habits.

Maybe you've been wishy-washy and contemplating whether you should do this or not. You keep going back and forth if it's worth it, or your fear of failure says no way. I'm not going even to try because I won't be able to do it.

If you're a toe dipper, that means you're not FULLY committing. What's the point of doing something without having your whole heart and soul into it. FULLY committing to changing your habits.

As we know, it is not easy or quick to unlearn a habit you've relied on for a decade or more. But when you decide to fully commit 100%, that is when you will see success. Will success happen right away? No. The Universe likes to test you to see how bad you really want it. It will throw lessons your way to see if you're truly committed to this alcohol-free life.

If you don't FULLY commit to something, then you won't get all the energy and powers you need to create the life you want. When you FULLY commit and decide there is no other option and put effort into it every day, then that's when the Universe sends you the resources your way.

Synchronicities start to happen.

People come into your life like magic.

Everything starts to work in your favor.

Full commitment means full potential. So who's ready to FULLY commit to 60 Days Alcohol-Free in the Confidently Be Alcohol-Free - 60 Day Challenge? No more wishy-washy I can't do this thinking. You CAN do this, and in order to show yourself that, you have to START and be surrounded by other mothers who can support you when times get tough and celebrate your mini wins along the way. Plus, add tools and resources, and accountability, and you have THE WAY to reach your true potential—no more excuses. There is no better time than January 1, 2021, to START! Early bird pricing ends on FRIDAY!

Your kids don't want a perfect mom. By Alyson Premo

Your kids don't want a perfect mom.

They want a mom who loves herself enough to know that drinking isn't the way to get through life.

What is a perfect mom anyway?

The mom who has a clean house, Pinterest worthy crafts, matching holiday outfits, and homemade nutritious meals on the table every night.

No, no, no. I know that society has conditioned us to believe that to be a "perfect mom," you must do all of the above. That's nonsense. First of all, there is no such thing as perfect because we all see life through a different lens, so what one person sees as perfect isn't the same as someone else's definition.

Second, do you think your kids care about all that? Absolutely not. They want a mom who isn't stressed out every single second of the day. A mom that is there for them when they need a listening ear. A mom who can heal herself so that she doesn't pass her own issues onto them. A mom who sets an example of how to get through hard times. That includes not drinking a toxic substance.

I hear time and time again from mothers who have either been raised in a home where alcohol was front and center or picked up the same alcohol habit from their parents. Is that what you want for your kids? I know that you don't, or you wouldn't be here. I know it can be hard to get out of the drinking cycle, but if it were easy, we wouldn't be in the crisis we're in now with women, especially mothers drinking more than ever.

Alcohol isn't the way to get through life or motherhood. It actually hinders us from being the best mother and person we could be. We only get one life, so why are we wasting it? Where do you want to be a year or 5 years from now? Still drinking and not experiencing the things that could light you up from within? I sure hope not.

It's time to nip this in the bud so that you're not looking back in 5 years with regret. One way to do that is by joining the 60 Day Alcohol-Free Challenge starting January 1st! Early bird pricing is available until 12/18, so get in before that price goes up. The first (5) who register receive a book and journal to either get a head start on this journey or be prepared for January 1st. Only 40 available!

The greatest gift you can give your kids is... By Alyson Premo

…a mother who doesn’t drink.

Seriously think about this. Take a moment to reflect on why this is true. Sure, they may want an iPhone or Legos or whatever else they're into. I know for my 10-year-old son, these are on his list and Xbox games, but this post isn't about me.

We can get our kids all the material things in the world, and they eventually grow out of it or play with it for a month, then it sits in the back of the closet. I've spent hundreds of dollars on gifts that my son only played with once. And yet, I never learn when the holiday season rolls around again and again. Ugh.

There is one gift though that doesn't cost a thing, and I can GUARANTEE that your kids will think it's the best gift ever, not just for the holidays, but all year round. You not drinking is the greatest gift you can ever give them.

Imagine being present for the moments with our kids that we can't get back.

Imagine your kids being proud of you for not drinking. Because newsflash they are. My son makes a big deal out of my milestones, and it really is the cutest thing ever.

Imagine showing them that it's ok to go against the grain and to screw peer pressure. Crazy how we still get pressured to drink even into adulthood, but you can show them that you don't have to follow the crowd no matter what.

Our kid's notice and are more observant than we give them credit for. You may not think they notice when we're drunk, but they do.

Is that the example you want to set for them?

Do you want them to think that you drink because of them? Because let's be honest, that's the narrative that we hear all the time. I can't take my kids, so I'm just going to have a drink. Imagine being a kid and hearing that. Yikes.

Give your kids the greatest gift you can this holiday season by not drinking. Are you realizing that you can't do this alone and need extra support and accountability to help you at the beginning stages? Then the 30 Day 1:1 Program is for you! Only ONE spot left for December. Message me to see if it would be a good fit for you.

Hey You. Keep Going. By Alyson Premo.

Hey you, keep going.

I've seen so many recent posts of people struggling or who have lost their battle with addiction.

First off, I want you to know that there is nothing wrong with you. We are in the middle of a fucking crazy year. We are trying to do it all between distance learning, working, keeping the kids alive, and maintaining a somewhat orderly household. Of course, our brain would go back to what we thought at the time was comfort and a way of coping, but as we know, our brain likes to play tricks on us.

That is not the way to get through motherhood, life, or the end of 2020. I know you're stressed, overwhelmed, and wanting a break, but alcohol isn't going to help you in the long run. Self-medicating with alcohol only INCREASES your depression and anxiety. The more you start relying on this pattern, the more chances you have to become dependent on alcohol.

If you started out with your occasional glass of wine or two during the week, but during 2020 have noticed how much and how often you drink has increased, then that's your first red flag to try taking a break. Take a break for 30 days and see how you do. If you're finding it harder than you thought, I would look at the reasons why you were drinking and find a therapist, coach, or a community of women who understand what you're going through.

The most important thing I want you to take from this post today, though, is YOU ARE NOT ALONE. I know you may feel like you are, but you aren't. The hard days will pass, and you will be so much stronger because of it. Cry, scream, eat all the sweets, but please don't give in to that voice that wants to sabotage you. You know what happens when you do, and it never ends well.

I want to know, who's going to not drink with me today?

Let's show the other mothers out there they aren't alone, and we are only a message away if need be.

If you're looking for extra guidance on this journey and a mindset shift, then reach out to me @sobermomcoach, and we can see if the 30 Day 1:1 Program would be a good fit for you. Only TWO spots available this month!