We're about to get a big snowstorm here in Connecticut, and in the first year of my sobriety, that would've been a huge trigger for me. I used to associate big snowstorms with stocking up on all the alcohol I could get.
Wine, beer, vodka. Anything. One because what else was I going to do in the middle of a snowstorm. Two, I didn't want to run out. I was fearful that if I didn't have enough alcohol that I would literally go through withdrawals. This happened at the end of my drinking "career", but still fearful of withdrawal but thinking I really didn't have a problem or I could stop. Looking back, I'm like, what in the heck was I thinking.
But the thing is, my rational brain wasn't thinking. It was my addictive brain that was doing the thinking. "I didn't have a problem. I had it all under control." Major eye roll there. When we're deep into our addictive behaviors, we can't see how bad it really is.
When we look back on our drinking, though, it's loud and clear when things escalated because we're finally out of that habit loop, and we've built new neural pathways to see that alcohol wasn't the way to cope with a snowstorm or anything in life.
We will still have the same triggers (snowstorm, holiday, stressful day); those things never go away. We just know how to handle those triggers differently. And in order to get to the point of handling them differently, you have to keep CHOOSING not to drink one day at a time. And you have to find healthy replacements and coping mechanisms. It doesn't happen overnight, so keep going and give this alcohol-free life a chance.
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