Not drinking alcohol doesn't make you weak. It makes you POWERFUL. By Alyson Premo.

Not drinking alcohol doesn't make you weak.

It makes you POWERFUL.

Yesterday in the 60 Day Alcohol-Free Challenge a mother was expressing her fears around an alcohol-free life. Something that we dig into in the first days of the challenge, and I'll tell you why in a second.

She feared that she would be seen as weak because she doesn't have the power or capability to "control" her alcohol intake. Hold up. This is where our brain plays tricks on us, or the way society perceives those who don't drink leads us to believe there is something wrong with us. But in my response back to her, I asked her to do a reframe on her weak statement. I advised her to think of how POWERFUL she is because she doesn't need alcohol to get through life. Not many can say that. And then it clicked for her.

So many times, we can't see these things on our own, and we need others for those gentle nudges to help us. This is why I'm so passionate about 1:1 coaching and the Alcohol-Free Challenges.

Oh, and those fears of sobriety are just ways to hold ourselves back from actually following through. You're not going to die from not drinking alcohol. In fact, it's the exact opposite; you're setting yourself up to be more healthy and decrease your chances of dying from an alcohol-related illness. Don't listen to those fears. All they want to do is sabotage your growth.

With that said, I (@sobermomcoach) am only accepting TWO new 1:1 clients for December. If you're looking for more personalized support and for someone to hold you accountable to get the consistency and momentum needed to jumpstart your alcohol-free journey, then this is the perfect opportunity for just that.

This month ONLY, I'm also giving you FREE access to the 60 Day Alcohol-Free Challenge that started on December 1st. I rarely do this, but I've been called to do so, so this is my gift to you this holiday season. First come, first serve, and once the two spots are gone, they're gone until January!

How great would it be to be present with your kids this holiday season? I already know how it feels, and now I want you to experience it for yourself.

Message me (@sobermomcoach) to see if this program would be a good fit for you!

Drinking alcohol is an easy way to cope until it isn't anymore. By Alyson Premo.

Drinking alcohol is an easy way to cope until it isn't anymore.

Yes, when we want a quick fix, alcohol seems to be the answer because it’s easy. We can just grab a glass of wine or a beer from the fridge, and from the moment it hits our lips, we already feel the sense of relief without it even in our bloodstream yet.

Have to make dinner with screaming children in the background? Grab a glass of wine.

Been with the kids all day and helping them with distance learning? Grab a glass of wine.

I know that we've all done this at one point or another and fed into the lies that Big Alcohol wants to sell us on, but turning to alcohol to cope just because it's the easy way doesn't make it the right way.

It’s easy because you let it become a habit, so of course, your brain is going to automatically go to wine to relieve whatever you’re trying to escape from. But the deeper you get into that cycle, the harder it is to get out, just like any other habit. When you’ve had an ingrained habit for a decade or more, of course, doing something else isn’t going to be the easy way out.

But the easy way out will ultimately lead you to regret, mom guilt, and not feeling good physically or emotionally or, like in my case, detox. That was not easy at all. I would have ten more babies rather than experience the withdrawals in detox again. I know that journaling, going for a walk, reaching out to a support community, meditating, and other healthy coping mechanisms aren't glitzy and don't provide you that instant sense of relief like alcohol does, but isn't that the point? We don't grow by taking the easy way out, and we certainly don't feel better about ourselves.

Is it time to stop taking the easy way out? The 60 Day Alcohol-Free Challenge starts TOMORROW!! This is the last challenge at the current price point, so if you've been on the fence, I would highly prioritize this on your list of investments. Yes, I know it's an investment, but it's one that can turn your whole life around for the better. And if you can spend money on alcohol, you can certainly spend money on your healing— message me with any questions.

Mommy doesn't need wine. Mommy just. needs a break. By Alyson Premo.

Mommy doesn't need wine.

Mommy just needs a break.

Back in my drinking days, I thought wine was the answer to my stress, to my overwhelm, to my anxiety, and to being the "perfect" mom.

Boy, was I wrong. The answer was I needed a break! I couldn't keep doing it all on my own, and I was scared to ask for help. I didn't want anyone to think I was weak and couldn't handle the "situation" I put myself in. That situation being a single mom, and as I'm typing this, I realize I wasn't the only one who put me in that situation. It takes two to make a baby, right? Anyway, I digress, and that topic is for another day.

I was bombarded by advertising, mommy wine memes, and society telling me just to have a glass of wine to take the edge off the stresses of everyday life. I wish I hadn't followed the crowd, and now I truly believe that when you're following the crowd, you lose yourself, which when I got sober, I started to look at a lot of things differently. I started to question other things that are marketed in our society as "fun" and the way to "relax". Because the day after my drinking, my anxiety would be through the roof. That was neither fun nor relaxing.

What we really need in motherhood isn't a toxic substance that causes more anxiety, sadness, and a general sense of feeling like garbage. We need a break! We need time to ourselves to rejuvenate. We need time just to be, and that just being includes not tending to everyone else's needs but our own. We put our own needs on the back burner, and that ultimately comes to bite us in the ass.

Don't fall for the mommy needs wine trap because it'll keep you stuck in a cycle that is only hindering you and making you worse off in the long run. Take a break without the wine, and I promise you that you'll feel much better about yourself physically and mentally. Try it and let me know how it goes.

If you're having trouble getting out of the mommy wine culture, then join me and 39 other mothers who are sick of it too for the 60 Day Alcohol-Free Challenge! This is the absolute LAST DAY to join!

Do you know what never gets old? Waking up without a hangover. By Alyson Premo.

As we embark on the holiday season and what is usually the biggest drinking night of the year. I say usually because this year will be a little different for some because you know 2020, which is a good thing. No pressure to drink in a social situation! We have to look for the positives when we can, right?

Anyway, I always think back upon the Thanksgiving mornings, waking up so nauseous, wondering what the heck happened the night before (who did I text? did I embarrass myself again?) Not anymore, though. Now I'm waking up ready for some coffee and couch hangs with the little man to watch the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade.

We have new traditions now, which brings me to another point, start new traditions with your family. If you are always used to drinking on Thanksgiving, think of ways to ditch the alcohol and still have fun.

All I know is I'm so thankful that I haven't had a hangover in over 4 years.

I'll be dishing out a few tips tomorrow to help you stay sober for turkey day. Stay tuned!

In the meantime, have you been on the fence about joining the 60 Day Alcohol-Free Challenge starting on Tuesday? Read on if so.

I had a 1:1 call that is included in the challenge with one of the participants yesterday, and that call reaffirms why I do what I do day in and day out. The only other person she's told about her struggle was her husband, and she felt such a sense of relief to let it out, cry, and be able to see that there's nothing wrong with her. Absolutely nothing at all. She just started to rely on a chemically addictive substance. She left that call with a renewed sense of motivation and HOPE. She even posted in the group about it later that night.

Now she is surrounded by a group of mothers who are on the same path as her, ready to cheer her on. That's why these challenges are so effective. They help you learn the tools and strategies to sustain and thrive in

This will be the last round of the challenge at the current price, so get in before it goes up in 2021!

Wine is NOT self-care. By Alyson Premo.

Yesterday morning I was scrolling Facebook and saw a post from a yoga studio here in my town and a Mindset Coach saying that having a glass of wine can be self-care.

When I see memes, merchandise, or someone talking about alcohol, I scroll on by because I’m not going to change anyone’s opinion on Facebook.

But when someone who is promoting health & wellness is saying that having a glass of wine is self-care, then it’s time to do a bit of educating.

Stop it with that damn narrative. Alcohol is a depressant and group 1 carcinogen, which means it’s in the same category as asbestos.

True self-care fills you up and doesn’t leave you even more empty.

True self-care isn't destroying your body from the inside out.

True self-care doesn't leave your skin dull with dark circles under your eyes.

True self-care doesn't have you waking up at 3 am from anxiety that the alcohol is causing.

True self-care doesn't leave you feeling worse about yourself.

True self-care doesn't leave you with regret, guilt, and shame.

I’m not anti-drinking. I’m anti promoting alcohol as “healthy” and a tool to cope with the daily stresses of life. There is nothing healthy about the facts of what alcohol does to your mind, body, and soul.

I’m passionate about this topic because I talk to women who are struggling with alcohol every day, and I’m not talking about being mentally and physically dependent on it either. I’m talking about reaching for it at the end of a stressful day or because the world's uncertainties are just too much for them right now.

They keep going to that glass of wine, then it becomes a habit, and then before you know it, they look back and wonder why they feel like absolute garbage and are having a hard time stopping.

Do you keep using the excuse that wine is your treat or reward at the end of a long day? I challenge you to change that narrative in the 60 Day Alcohol-Free Challenge starting October 1st! Join 39 other mothers and me for daily audio lessons and content emailed right to your inbox, connection, and support via WhatsApp (that's right, no more Facebook required!), 4 LIVE group coaching calls, and a 1:1 chat with me @sobermomcoach ! Click here to register and reserve your spot!

Motherhood and alcohol are like oil and water. By Alyson Premo.

Motherhood and alcohol are like oil and water.

They DO NOT mix well and only cause separation.

I don't know when alcohol and motherhood became synonymous, but I do know who the culprit is. Big Alcohol and their marketing made you believe that alcohol and motherhood go hand in hand when, in reality, it only causes more problems, heartache, and separation.

It's amazing what happens when you step back from the mommy wine culture and see how heavily marketed it is. It's not a coincidence either. They use persuasive messaging, and a lot of us fell into the trap. Thinking that "they whine I wine" is the way to get through the hard days. The days when the kids won't listen to you, so you lose your temper. The days when you're so tired from waking up at 4 am because your kids don't understand what sleeping in is. The days when you're juggling it all. Work, cooking, cleaning, and making sure that you're raising a good human.

Alcohol isn't the answer.

Alcohol isn't the solution to parenting. There are hard days, but what I do know is alcohol never made those days better. They only caused more separation between my son and me. Separation in that I wasn't entirely there. I wasn't fully experiencing all that motherhood had to offer.

At the time, that's the only way I knew how to get through the hard days because that's what I was conditioned to do by friends, coworkers, and society. Alcohol was the thing that was supposed to make all the worries go away, but it didn't. It caused me almost to lose my life and my son. I do not doubt that if I continued on the path I was on, I wouldn't be here today to write about it. And that's why I share my story because, like many of you, I didn't start drinking in motherhood to become reliant on a substance to ease the hard days. I drank because I thought that was the solution to motherhood being difficult some days. It's not the solution, and it never will be.

Your argument for drinking red wine for the health of it is now invalid.

You know those people that I’m talking about, right? Those that say I’m drinking red wine for the antioxidants. Um, you can get your daily dose of antioxidants without ethanol in it. Blueberries, grapefruit, watermelon, broccoli, carrots, and the list goes on are foods that you can eat without a side of cancer-causing carcinogens.

This week the American Cancer Society published NEW GUIDELINES for alcohol. The previous recommendation was if you drink alcoholic beverages, limit to no more than one drink per day for women and 2 per day for men. The new recommendation is to AVOID alcohol altogether.

I think many of us have been waiting for this day. I’m shocked that this happened right now and not a couple of years down the road. Finally, what a lot of us have been saying for years has been brought to light, and it’s a great feeling to be validated. Below are a few more reasons why these new guidelines are amazing.

1) Isn't it easier to stop or not do something when you know it'll cause you harm? Yes, we know that alcohol isn't good for us, but we haven't been "officially" told that. It's like when cigarettes were popular back in the day, and then we started learning more information about how harmful smoking really is. When we look at alcohol for what it is, a cancer-causing chemical, it doesn't seem as appealing as it did before.

2) Less explaining ourselves to friends and family. I mean, you don't need to explain yourself to anyone, but with these new findings, it's easier not to feel like there’s something wrong with you or a buzzkill for not drinking. "I'm good; I just don't want to increase my chances of getting cancer.”

3) Less stigma. Being able to get rid of the notion that if you don't drink, then you must be an alcoholic is a huge step in the right direction. Many will keep quiet about their sobriety because they feel people will perceive them in a different light. The sober curious movement has allowed for this shift as well. More people are becoming alcohol-free because it doesn't fit with their overall health and well-being, which also means more people who are loud and proud of their sobriety. More non-alcoholic beverages brought to the market. AND more options and resources than just AA.

Speaking of options, I’ve already opened up registration for the next 60 Day Alcohol-Free Challenge starting July 6th! These new guidelines are bringing to light what alcohol really does to your health. We eat healthy. We exercise. We meditate. Then we drink alcohol and negate all the good we've done. How does that even make sense? I hope if you’ve been on the fence and have recently seen these new guidelines from ACS, then you'll consider joining us for the next round.

Join me and 29 other women in ridding your life of this cancer-causing substance.

When did we become so divided? AA vs non AA.

Yesterday I had posted on the @sobermomtribe Instagram page about options and how we can’t tell anyone how they SHOULD get and stay sober. We all have a unique journey, past, and many other circumstances that shape what path will work best for us. In no way was I saying that AA was bad. In fact, I listed AA as an option, and a choice that I had tried at the beginning of my journey and it wasn’t my thing. But that’s ok. I had other tools in my toolbox that have kept me over 3.5 years sober. 

I had posted other options that people may use, such as coaching, therapy, podcasts, quit lit, etc. You get the idea. Of course, I knew that someone would eventually come on and defend AA, which is fine; that’s their path and they are passionate about what has worked for them. Then it turned ugly. People who were advocating AA saying that if you don’t do AA, then there’s no way to achieve long term sobriety. That if you’re not in AA, then you’re a dry drunk and have the same “bad” behavior. Um, what? Since when did a post about being grateful for different choices become a bashing fest? Since when is your way better than someone else’s? Since when does the “bad” behavior of someone judging another’s path become ok only if you’re in AA? Since when did you become holier than thou and AA became the end all be all? AA doesn’t have a monopoly on recovery, and most are happy about that. 

Why not be happy that more people have options to help them? Why not be happy that sobriety is more mainstream so that others feel less alone? Why do I have to be in a church basement to be truly recovered? Where is all this judgment coming from? I will admit it happens on both sides of the divide, but I will say that I believe I see it more from the people in AA that judge the ones who aren’t taking that route. Maybe it’s because that’s my perspective and what I’m looking to find. Still, I don’t go on someone's page who’s in AA saying that they’re a horrible person because they don’t go to therapy or they’re doing it the wrong way because they’re not looking at the science behind addiction. I respect AA and all the people it has helped over the decades, but just because it’s been around the longest doesn’t mean it’s the “right” option. There is no such thing as the right option. Well, there is, and it’s whatever works best for YOU.

I genuinely don’t understand this divide. Well, I guess I do because it happens in our country all the time. Over politics. Over this pandemic. Over whether breast milk or formula is better. Why can’t we all just get along? Why can’t people have their opinion and you have yours? There’s a reason why they’ve formulated that opinion, and we don’t know anyone’s experiences or personal life, so why judge them for that? Most of the time, we have the same opinions as our parents or who we were raised by, and that makes sense. But it also means that our views aren’t going to change overnight.

When we force someone to do something, then they’re more apt to resist. Why not let them form their own conclusions by having a healthy dialogue? A dialogue that doesn’t consist of bad-mouthing their view. A discussion that doesn’t tell them how bad or wrong they are. Because I can tell you that will NEVER change my opinion, and it would make me even less likely to think about your reasoning. 

I will also say that I’m not perfect. I have judged and sometimes do to this day. When I see the mommy needs wine memes or anything of that nature, I roll my eyes and may or not react. I’ve also done it on the Sober Mom Tribe page. But I think there’s a fine line between educating and flat out shaming someone for their drinking behavior. I mean, would you change your drinking pattern just because some random person on social media told you that it was wrong? I can tell you the answer to that because someone said that to me before I got sober. Did it change my mind? NOT AT ALL.

I don’t even know what the point of all this was, but I’m sure someone else out there can relate. It’s frustrating when people who aren’t in AA have their recovery questioned. I know that we shouldn’t care what they think, but I think it’s harmful to those that don’t like AA and want different options. We all put a lot of work into our recovery, whether that’s with AA or not. We’re all here for the same goal of remaining sober, so why does it matter how we get there? If you have the answer to that question, then let me know. But I’m sure this divide won’t end anytime soon. In the meantime, let’s just all BE KIND and root for one another.

Let’s be the beacon and not the tugboat.