One of the many perks of sobriety:
No longer waking up with the dread of the texts I sent the night before.
OMG! What a sh*tshow my life used to be the morning after drinking.
The crazy texts to my ex wondering why he wouldn't get back together with me. 😳
The things I posted on Facebook about my son's dad not paying child support. 😬
The random men I would connect with through dating apps for a hookup. 😩
Total cringe right now as I remember those times.
The thing is, that wasn't really me. That was the alcohol bringing up all the suppressed emotions I was feeling. I would stuff it all down, drink it away, and then one night it would come out in a wrath.
What it all came back to was pain and hurt. I was in so much pain from what I felt as being abandoned my whole life.
I was the girl who was unlovable. I was the girl that was the last hoorah before they went off and found the one. I was the not enough girl. I was the fun girl.
And all those feelings that I never expressed would come out as anger, sadness, and promiscuity.
When I removed alcohol, I finally started to see why I was drinking in the first place, and boy was it uncomfortable to see that it was me standing in my own way the whole entire time.
Do I still say some stupid things through text? Absolutely. But that's me in a continual process of growth, trying to respond rather than react. Something that has been a challenge for me but has gotten WAY better. But at least I know those aren't alcohol-fueled texts anymore.
Are you stuffing your emotions down and drinking them away? One day, if it hasn't already, those will come out, and it's not going to be pretty.
The way out of the drinking cycle is to sit with the uncomfortable feelings, express them, and talk through what has been plaguing you for so long, NOT suppress them.
If you're struggling with this, I encourage you to apply for the 90 Day 1:1 Coaching Program, where I hold that space for you that is so needed to heal.
Maybe you're saying I can do this on my own. You can, but it will be a lot harder and take you a lot longer, so why not accept the support?
Click here to apply!