You are not a bad mom for:
your past mistakes
things you did while under the influence of alcohol
using alcohol to cope when that was the only way you knew how
your participation in mommy wine culture
Someone in the sobriety community posted a TikTok video that went viral of a mom pouring vodka into her coffee cup with juice in it while her baby was crying in the background.
Since yesterday I haven't been able to stop thinking about this video for a few reasons.
👉🏻That mother was clearly hurting on the inside, and here someone is blasting her and her CHILD on her personal page for being a bad mother.
👉🏻Instead of shaming the woman for her own personal agenda, did she think about personally reaching out to her? Nope.
👉🏻We don't create change with shame. We create change with compassion and being the example.
Think about how hard it was for you to change your drinking habits.
I'm sure some of you had people telling you that you needed to "slow down" or quit altogether. I'm sure you talked yourself into moderation more times than not before you finally had your aha moment.
So what makes you think, forcing someone to stop drinking is going to work? What makes you think publicly humiliating them is going to make them quit?
I got news for you. It won't.
But I know what it will do. It'll make them feel even worse about themselves, right? It'll reinforce that there is something wrong with them for not being able to quit. It'll reinforce that maybe those thoughts of being a bad mom are true.
Over the course of my journey, my shame and anger have turned into compassion. I think there's a fine line between holding someone accountable and flat out shaming them. Shame doesn't create change.
I'm here to lead by example and offer support. Sure, do I think some companies need to be held accountable for the way they promote mommy wine culture? Of course. But let's try our best not to attack individuals who don't know any better right now. We were all there once, too, so let's lead with compassion instead.
We talked about the anger we have towards mommy wine culture in our group coaching call included within the 60 Day Alcohol-Free Challenge yesterday. If you're struggling, I encourage you to take a look and see if the challenge would be a good fit for you. I can guarantee it will be, but I'm biased, so take a look at what others have said about the challenge by clicking here or message me (@sobermomcoach)!